It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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Mark Nepos' Weekly Reflection: I Affirm (for Joel Elkes)

Already someone is asking

who you were. And I well up.

I reach for your long life and all

you did. But it’s all you touched

that can’t be put into words. Twenty

years ago, when I was troubled and

confused, you took my hand firmly

and said, “You steward a force of

nature within you. Honor it and

trust it.” Later, you led me to the

plateau between all that is good

in us and all the harm we do. You

stood there between the eternal light

and the eternal dark and said, “Come,

look with me into the heart of things.”

But you always returned to walk the

earth, lending your strong hands to

all who came your way. I want so

much to speak about the force of

nature you were. The kind stranger

is waiting. And I can only point to

who you were, like a child pointing

to the moon. I stutter and simply

say, “He was such a good man.”



A Question to Walk With: Describe someone who can look into the heart of things with. What qualities does this friend inhabit that makes such depth between you possible?

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Where Do You Belong?

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” — Saint Teresa of Calcutta

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the phrase “go back to where you came from.”

Those were the words our president uttered last week, and after he said them, I found myself feeling the rejection, the pain and the hurt behind them. While his words were aimed at four female elected officials, I know that many of us have also heard words like that in our personal lives.

“Get out! Go away! You are not welcome here anymore. You don’t deserve to be here. Leave!”

Sit with those words. How do they make you feel in your body, your heart and your mind? I know they make me feel pain. Why? Well, underneath those words is the implication that one doesn’t belong, and not belonging cuts to the core of what we desire and need to survive as human beings.

Belonging. I remember a quote from Mother Teresa (now Saint Teresa of Calcutta) where she said the biggest threat to us and our world was that people don’t feel as though they belong. “If we have no peace,” she said, “it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

When someone senses that they don’t belong, they don’t feel the ground underneath their feet. They don’t feel like they have a seat at the table. They don’t trust that they belong.

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Choosing the Company You Keep

Those with whom we assemble, we soon resemble!

This simple old saying hides a deep Truth that can enlighten and empower every aspect of our lives.

Who we are — our very essence — is continually being transformed by the company we keep.

Stated differently, when we keep the company of what is light and bright, our lives get lighter and brighter. And when we keep the company of what is dark and discouraging, our lives can’t help but be dragged downward.

This idea might sound a little simplistic at first, but its power soon becomes evident when we put it to use in the quest to realize our highest aspirations. The key lies in understanding that this principle is active on multiple levels at once. For instance, when referring to "the company we keep," we of course mean the people we spend time with every day — family, friends, co-workers, etc. However, on a deeper and more important level, “company” can also refer to the thoughts and feelings moving within us in any given moment.

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Trust In Love

Do you believe in love?

The Practice:
Trust in love.

Why?

Take a breath right now, and notice how abundant the air is, full of life-giving oxygen offered freely by trees and other green growing things. You can’t see air, but it’s always available for you.

Love is a lot like the air. It may be hard to see – but it’s in you and all around you.

In the press of life – dealing with hassles in personal relationships and bombarded with news of war and other conflicts – it’s easy to lose sight of love, and feel you can’t place your faith in it. But in fact, to summarize a comment from Gandhi, daily life is saturated with moments of cooperation and generosity – between complete strangers! Let alone with one’s friends and family.

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Surrendering To The Light Of Conscious Awareness

Self love can be a tricky thing. All too often, we confuse self preservation with love. We feel that we love ourselves because we make the effort to exercise, eat right, and get enough sleep. While these things are certainly necessary to physical well-being, they can become unreliable substitutes for an honest and deeply based sense of love and caring for oneself. So, if you find yourself looking to others for love and approval, here are three steps that you can take to increase your level of self love. Remember, while you may be loved by others, the primary source of all the love in your life begins with you.

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3 Keys To Emotional Independence

Happy Independence Day - the day we celebrate our “unalienable rights” to life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and freedom! Now of course there are many ways to achieve living life to the fullest, feeling liberated, and attaining happiness, but I can promise you that if you truly want to let freedom ring, then you must foster emotional independence.   Emotional independence is being able to stand in your power, and to make choices based on what is in your highest versus as a reaction to external circumstances. And the crazy thing is, that even though “unalienable rights” are defined as those that cannot be surrendered, transferred, given away to, or revoked by another, the fact is that most of us give away our power when it comes to emotional independence and let outside sources rob of us our joy, equilibrium, internal knowing, and sense of self.

So, if your day, mood, or reactions are being controlled by: 

  • the way your butt and thighs look in your jeans,
  • whether a person you are dating asks you out for Saturday night or texts you the day after you slept together,
  • a disagreement you’ve had with a family member,
  • someone else’s opinion of you, or
  • your desire to numb out and avoid dealing with certain situations,

then chances are you need some support in fostering emotional independence.




Here are 3 tips to aid you on your path to true freedom.

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Love, Attraction, & Gray Hair!

Gray hair getting you down?

Here’s some science based good news!

Whether you are dating or partnered, according to a joint study between psychologists from the University of St. Andrews and the University of Liverpool, a more mature appearance is exactly what some men find the most attractive. (“Mature” is code for gray hair in this instance.)

The study looked at how likely men (and women) are to be attracted to certain hair and eye color in their chosen partners, and they found that for men, the best indicator of preferences was the hair and eye color of their mothers. When nearly 700 volunteer participants (including 394 men) were asked about the hair and eye color of themselves, their parents, and their partners, they found that overwhelmingly, men were attracted to the same coloring that their mothers had.

The study found that “healthy” hair is more important than hair color unless you have an unnatural color in your hair, in which case it works against you.

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A Swan Song of Love

When I was first starting out, I participated in an event with well-known psychic medium John Edward. I was excited, nervous and anxious all at the same time. I knew this was my test to see if I could take my mediumship to the next level.

I sat in the green room for a while, thinking how much I wanted to be the very best I could, and I hoped that my guides would be there to assist me. Before long, I started to receive information in a series of images. In my mind’s eye, I saw what seemed to be a piece of paper being furiously folded. Were they trying to show me a paper plane, a paper toy, or was it just a cut-out doll? I tried to interpret what I was receiving as quickly as I could. It finally turned into a beautiful origami swan. I knew immediately that this was the link.

Suddenly I heard John Edward announce my name and I was on. Putting any fears behind me, I strode confidently on stage. The atmosphere was electric as I gave a short talk about myself, how I work, and what people could expect, as well as what not to expect.

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7 Ways To Overcome Feeling Insecure In A Relationship and Be Free

“Your relationship with yourself is the real foundation for your relationship with others.”

The partner you attract in a relationship is a mirror manifestation of yourself. When you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, you look to your partner to give you a sense of validation. This leads to feelings of insecurity and suffering. Listen to this episode to learn 7 simple, yet powerful keys to improve your relationship with yourself and overcome feelings of insecurity.

Some Questions I Ask:

  • How often do you really connect with who you are?
  • Have you ever felt insecure in your relationship?
  • Do you like the partners you are attracting into your sphere?
  • How do you deal with the fear of losing your identity in your relationship?
  • How often do you look in the mirror? Do you like what you see?
  • Have you noticed the voice in your head that criticizes you?
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Making Yourself Happy (or happier!)

Want the insider tips on what the happiest people in the world do to live long, healthy, and HAPPY lives?

Dan Buettner, an explorer, National Geographic Fellow, award-winning journalist and New York Times bestselling author has written The Blue Zones of Happiness

His book is based on happiness you can actually measure. The first kind of happiness is determined by asking people to rate their life satisfaction level on a scale of 1 to 10. The second kind of happiness is purpose, and it’s measured by people rating how engaged they are with their lives, and if they’re doing meaningful things every day. The third measurement is how much people enjoy their lives on a day -to-day or moment-to-moment basis. That’s determined by asking people to remember their last 24 hours and report how many times they felt joy, laughed, or smiled.
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We Can’t Control Others, But Here’s How To Influence Them

Rather than trying to control others, which never works in the long run, learn how you can influence others.

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.” – Albert Schweitzer

Inner Bonding teaches that we have no control over others’ intent, choices, and how they feel about us. However, while we have no control, we can influence others. Our own loving or unloving behavior can have a huge influence on others.

Think back in your life to the people who most influenced you.

  • Who influenced you regarding your controlling and addictive behavior?
  • Who influenced you regarding your loving, personally powerful behavior?

The problem for many of us is that we have far too many role models of unloving behavior toward ourselves and others, and far too few role models of loving behavior. This is why it is so important to be able to turn to your guidance for what’s loving to you and to others.

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Set Yourself Free with Love and Forgiveness

The overall theme that the cards reveal this week in the Weekly Oracle Card Guidance and Lesson is forgiveness. Who or what do you need to forgive?

I know forgiveness may seem like one of those intangible ideals that’s just out of reach or a waste of time. But, it’s not. You can make the choice to forgive. And by taking that decision, you not only move forward on your path, but you also open the door to Spirit’s messages.

Resentment, anger, shame, and regret all keep you focused on the past and block you from accessing the realm of connection. In addition to robbing you of the present, lack of forgiveness feeds your ego mind, your Goblin, and keeps you in a “Me Bubble.” Forgiveness is one of the greatest keys to strengthening your intuition and making positive changes in your life.

I would not be where I am today if it weren’t for forgiveness. After years of abusive relationships, drinking, and trying to numb my pain, I had a spiritual epiphany in which I realized that I had to forgive if I wanted to move forward. Through giving up the need to be hurt and to hate, I’ve been able to finally have the amazing, healthy relationship I’d always wanted. 

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Mark Nepo's Weekly Reflection: The Majestic Turn

One of the great masters of the long walk through time is the Earth itself, as it turns ever so slowly on its axis, turning in place forever. This unconscious devotion to being sustains all life and keeps the mountains and oceans from spinning into space. This great and silent teacher holds the secret of being. For we are each born with an unconscious devotion to turn in place around the unseeable center. And in doing so, we sustain all life. When the Earth devotes itself to this majestic turn, ever inward, it creates and renews a force we call gravity. When we devote ourselves to this majestic turn around the unseeable center, we create and sustain a force we call love. And it is love like gravity that keeps the continents from breaking apart and spinning into space.

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New Questions That Lead to Self-Wholeness

Our stressful, pain-filled experiences are not caused by people or events but by our reactions to them. And yet, if we will honestly examine the way we presently question our defeats, here’s what we see: we are still desperately seeking answers that serve only to correct the surface or exterior conditions. We are still blaming circumstances for crushing us. The direction of our questions proves that we are still thinking incorrectly about our problems.

This is supremely important to grasp if we wish to change our inner and outer world. By their very nature, our old questions tend to make and then keep us victims. They imply that someone or something outside of ourselves is punishing us. No human being is a victim of any punishment outside of their own undeveloped life-level from which their inner reactions are seen as outer attacks. This is why we must learn to turn our questions into tools for developing self-wholeness instead of letting them lead us off in the wrong direction.

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The One and Only Dependable Source of Love

Do you make others your dependable source of love – your Higher Power?


Seth and Lisa consulted with me because they had been married only a year and were having problems. Seth was often angry at Lisa, and Lisa felt shut down to Seth.

“Seth,” I asked him, “What are you wanting from Lisa that you are not getting?”

“I want her to be my dependable source of love. She is my wife and she should be my dependable source of love.”

Seth was doing what many people do in relationships – he was making Lisa his Higher Power. Having no spiritual connection of his own, he kept trying to access love through Lisa. Lisa, feeling pulled on by Seth to fill the emptiness caused by his self-abandonment, had withdrawn.

We all need a dependable source of love, but to expect another to be that dependable source creates the codependency that leads to the relationship difficulties that Seth and Lisa were experiencing.

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Love Your Neighbor

In the neighborhood?

The Practice:
Love your neighbor.

Why?

This practice might sound extreme or pushy, and I want to tell you what I mean by it.

Everyone has lots of neighbors, and they come in many shapes and sizes. Obviously the people living across the street are neighbors, but in some sense so are the people you live with. Friends, relatives, co-workers, all the people you know are neighbors. So are the people at the market or walking past on the street. Other living things are neighbors as well, such as cats and dogs, birds and bees, ants on the kitchen counter, and plants and trees.

There’s also a neighborhood inside each of us. The human body contains about 100 trillion cells – and at least as many microorganisms that are neighbors, too. Plus consider your mind. My own mind is like a village with many characters at different stages of biological and psychological evolution, chatting or arguing with each other. All the parts of your mind – the pushy internal critic, the playful child, the longing for lasting happiness, the calm voice that talks you off the ledge – are neighbors of a sort.

In the largest sense, the neighbors of your neighbors are your neighbors, which means that every living thing is your neighbor – and mine. Wow. Walt Whitman got it right when he wrote: “I am large, I contain multitudes.”

What should we do with our neighbors? Ignore or hate them? Or recognize and love them?

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Getting Off the Karmic Cartwheel and Back Into Love...

Yes, there is such a thing as being stuck in a karmic pattern that no longer serves you.

These patterns are the result of unconscious programs that trigger false beliefs and perpetuate stories that age, weaken and diminish life…

and, blocks your ability to know the truth.  

You are a perfect divine being whose essence is LOVE!

Having worked with thousands of people worldwide, we’ve discovered universal thought processes running through humanity.

“I don't deserve love!” “No one will ever love me!” “Love is dangerous”

These programs have been locked in your DNA and effect the way your genes express. In other words, your thoughts control your energetic frequency and that frequency either repels love or is a magnet to love.

You might not think this is relevant to you, however, the sneaky unconscious mind stores past events, emotions and decisions that surface as negative life patterns.

How do you know if you are on this karmic merry go round blocking love? 

Look at how much love you’ve allowed into your life. That will tell you whether or not you are free to love yourself, your family, friends, your beloved and God.

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The Husband Super Store

I once heard a story called Shopping for the Perfect Husband. The tale is set in the “Perfect Husband” super store, a five-story building where women go to find their perfect match.

On each of the five floors there are men with various qualities. The main rule was that once you reached any given floor, you had to select a man from that floor. If you didn’t, you could go to the next floor, not knowing for sure what you would find. The trick was that you couldn’t return to a lower floor unless you planned to leave the store husband-less.

Marianne and Joan, lifelong best friends, set off to find Mr. Soulmate. On the first floor there was a small sign that read:

“These guys love children and have good jobs.”

Joan thought that was great, but she was also curious to see what was on the second floor.
Marianne followed her up the escalator where they found a somewhat larger sign that said:

“These guys are super handsome, love children and have great jobs.”

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5 Ways To Heal Your Heart

The relationships we have with others – romantic or platonic – are one of the most sacred aspects of our being. In these close, intimate spaces, we are allowed to become a part of someone else’s life, offering them love and affection, advice and caring, nurturing and a listening ear.

But there are times when these relationships dissolve – for myriad reasons – and the heartache that results can be one of the most painful things to endure. Heartache can turn us into people we’d rather not be. To avoid this, I offer you these 5 ways to heal your heart, and return to love.

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4 Ways To Deal With Regret and Eliminate It

Regret is a killer.

It robs you of your peace in the moment and limits your ability to create a fresh future.

Regret is that feeling when you look back from your future and wish you had done it differently.

We have all done things that we felt bad about and judged ourselves for from the past.

Whether it was:

Bad relationship choices.

The way you handled a break up.

Unwise financial decisions.

What are you still judging yourself for?

What regrets do you still have?

Maybe you have been holding yourself hostage, thinking you are a bad person or that God is judging you?

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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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