It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us. 

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Three Wishes For The World

“We all have the power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing." -Louisa May Alcott

I've Been Thinking...

The other day, I went on one of my “walk and talks.” These are socially distant walks that I take in the late afternoon, either alone or with friends who also like to walk, talk, dream, ponder, and wonder about life. 

I often walk with my friend Simon, an optimist and an astute student of leadership. 

The other day, we were walking and talking about Simon’s online courses (you can learn more here and follow him on Instagram, too) and his upcoming podcast, when we came upon two other guys we both know. We stopped to chit chat, and just as we were about to leave, one of the guys said: “I’d like to ask you both a question. What are your three wishes for our country and the world right now? They don’t have to be achievable, but what are they?” 

“Wow!” I thought to myself. I figured he was just going to ask which restaurants had good takeout service or something, but hey, okay. I knew I’d need a few minutes to think about how to answer. 

Simon’s three wishes popped out immediately.

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The Art Of Sacred Self-Love

May is International Masturbation Month.⁠ All month we celebrate the beauty and art of self-pleasure (also known as sacred masturbation). ⁠Do you allow yourself to enjoy pleasure? Pleasure nourishes your body and lights up your soul. 
Your body LOVES to be touched - by YOU.⁠ ⁠Are you lavishing your body with LOVE? ⁠

Self-pleasure is normal, natural, and one of the best ways to light your sexual fire. It boosts your self-love, happiness, health, and vitality.

Waiting on a partner to satisfy you is so out-of-style. You have the power to satisfy yourself! You can bring yourself earth-shattering pleasure and mind-blowing sex through solo self-pleasure. When you exercise that power, it will work magic in your life, including your confidence, health, happiness, career, and romantic relationship.
 

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How To Set Your Boundaries and Honor Your Needs

...... Setting your boundaries with people in your life is never an easy task.

However, in order to do so, you must know who you are and what your needs are.

In my new video, I share some simple ideas that will help you honor yourself and your needs more authentically.


How do you set your boundaries with loved ones?

How do you honor your needs and also set your boundaries while honoring your relationships with others?

In this video, I discuss how to set boundaries with the people you live with so everyone's needs can be met. With everyone on lockdown, this has become more important than ever. You want to use this time to get closer to loved ones, not farther away.

End the Pain of Getting in Your Own Way

You know what it means to get in your own way, don't you? It is a true phenomenon.

Try to picture this: I'm walking down the street and then I run into myself… how can I run into myself unless I'm divided in such a way that in any given moment I’m on my way to do what something in me says is going to make the moment right, then I run into what the moment says will make it right… and I have a crash?


Here’s a little story to illustrate this idea of getting in our own way:

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Wabi Sabi Quarantine

Wabi Sabi is the ancient Japanese aesthetic of seeking to discover beauty and perfection in imperfection. It seeks to find the beauty in things that are old, worn, imperfect or impermanent.

When we are in a situation beyond our control, and are finding ourselves highly annoyed or frustrated with someone’s behavior, that is the time to practice Wabi Sabi Love: this is about having a shift in perception and making up a new and empowering story about whatever you are perceiving as broken, wrong, or just not right.

For those of us that are stressed out, frustrated or are experiencing extreme cabin fever from the quarantine, finding the beauty and perfection in the imperfection can be a challenge.

I could make a long list of all the things I don’t like about being quarantined, but now that we are in week seven, I think for me, the good things are beginning to outweigh the bad.

By digging deep into my spiritual toolkit I have been practicing things I’ve often talked about but never really had to deal with….like turning fear into love and transforming judgement into compassion. The latter being the most difficult.

As I have watched many people filling social media with wild conspiracy theories, I find myself pinging back and forth between outrage and wanting to fix them.

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You have the power to choose happiness - change your code!

Do you ever find yourself thinking if only…

If only I were thinner 

If only I had been born into wealth

If only life weren’t so hard, then I could be happy.

Dear ones, let me tell you…

That isn’t how happiness works.

In fact, they are low frequency codes that destroy your ability to shift your state in order to feel happy. 

We’ve known wealthy people who were cloaked in depression.

We’ve known beautiful people who couldn’t stand to look at themselves in the mirror. 

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Shaking is Meant for Shifting

For me and many of the people I’ve spoken to who are part of the stay-at-home population, it feels like one day is rolling right into the next with not that much changing in any given 24-hour period.

Of course, if we’re working from home or home-schooling our children or are caregivers for our loved ones, the details of each day are numerous and ever-changing.

But it’s the general tone of the day that I’m speaking about... 

I’m wondering about that question mark that’s hanging over the planet.

What is this shaking up of the world as we know it ushering in? 

What will our personal and collective lives look like in a few months…

And in a few years?

Though there have been a few other pandemics over the last hundred years or so, never before have we experienced the repercussions of a pandemic like the one enfolding the whole of the planet today. 

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What It Means To Be Emotionally Strong

There is a vast difference between the pseudo-strength of controlling behavior and the actual strength of loving behavior.

“My father was a very strong man. It was his way or the highway.”
“My mother is a very strong person. She is the matriarch of the family and controls everyone. I never see her cry.”

These descriptions of strength do not fall under my definition of ‘strong.’

Strength and Weakness

Strength is reaching a place in your growth where you have the courage to feel and lovingly manage your painful core feelings of sorrow, loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, grief and helplessness over others—rather than avoiding them with various addictions and controlling behavior.

Weakness is when you are too afraid to feel and learn from your feelings, so you avoid them with substance and process addictions, and with controlling behavior toward others to get them to take responsibility for your feelings. Given these definitions, the above statements made by my clients about their parents are describing weakness, not strength.

Strong people are able to cry—to be moved by things and to cry as a way to release the energy of that strong emotion. Unfortunately, many people were programmed as children to not cry, since their parents didn’t know how to handle painful feelings – their own and their children’s. Many people were even teased, at home or at school, for crying, further programming them to avoid tears.

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The Miracle Of The Coronavirus – Part 1

Creating authentic power requires distinguishing love from fear in yourself and choosing love no matter what is happening inside you or what is happening outside. Our evolution now requires us to create authentic power. The coronavirus is teaching us how to do that. The reality of the coronavirus is often lost in the fear of it (including denial). The reality of the coronavirus is that no one is immune to it, and it is extremely contagious. The mortality rate of the coronavirus is much lower than small pox or bubonic plague, yet it is a deadly threat. That reality demands that we bring our fears into our awareness so that we can choose responsibly between our fears on the one hand and love on the other. This is important because not only your health depends upon your choices, but also the health of others.

In other words, the coronavirus is the perfect teacher of responsibility. The coronavirus is contagious days before its symptoms appear in you. You do not know when you become infected! During that time you can infect others without knowing it and without them knowing it (because they do not know when they become infected, either), and they can (will) very quickly infect others and on and on and on and on. These are the things that make the coronavirus very dangerous. It is extremely contagious, everyone can unknowingly infect anyone else, and it can kill you. In other words, if you mindlessly endanger yourself, you mindlessly endanger others. If others recklessly endanger themselves, they recklessly endanger you. To echo Lakota wisdom, the health of one is the health of all, and the illness of one is the illness of all.

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Are you walking a tightrope?

Do you ever feel as though life is a three ring circus? 

So many demands from everywhere for your time and energy… 

constantly juggling life’s responsibilities while trying to balance family, self care and career…?

This balancing act can leave even the strongest person feeling like they are walking a tightrope. It leads to stress upon stress that compromises the immune system and triggers unconscious stories that can sabotage your health and ability to have fun manifesting the life you want.

Take a moment to answer each question below honestly:

  1. Are you eating healthy and exercising regularly?
  2. Do you spend time learning to master your thoughts, set aside personal and quiet time just for you and meditate or use guided visualizations to train your brain?
  3. Do you feel close to family and friends?
  4. Do you love what you do and how you show up in your career?
  5. Do you feel in touch with your True Self and take time to notice and heed the emotional signals that tell you if you’re out of balance?
  6. Do you regularly experience well-being, contentment, love and joy?

Now you’ve done that, you have an idea of where you’re at right now…

Your past is responsible for how you’ve been feeling up till this moment!


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Hold Your Beliefs Light-ly

Beliefs are tricky, especially in times of uncertainty. They can be a source of inspiration or a heavy chain around your neck. They can uplift you into possibility or weigh you down, keeping you from open-hearted expansion. Historically, beliefs have been the cause of cycles of planetary polarization: renaissances and wars, connection and separation, coming together and tearing apart, hope and despair. Humans have yet to reach the evolutionary tipping point of being present in experience without filters of any kind. Maybe now is the time to let go and see everything as light, including ourselves and our beliefs.

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How To Love Your Body

The healthier and more vibrant your body is, the more you can express yourself through it and live your dream.”

We often live with the pressure of having a ‘perfect’ body according to the standard created by the media and society as a whole. As a result, this can often lead to shame, self-rejection and even hatred of our body. Listen to this important episode to learn how to love your body and honor this amazing vehicle of your soul.

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5 Ways to Light Your Sexual Fire for Confidence, Creativity, Love, and Joy

Have you lit your sexual fire? Are you feeling alive, vibrant, and TURNED ON in your life? 

Your sexuality is vital to your health, happiness, and life purpose. Awakening to the sacredness and creative potential of our sexuality is the next phase of our spiritual evolution on the planet. 

In my recent article “Light Your Sexual Fire in 2020,” I shared that your sexuality boosts your health, creativity, intuition, self-love, confidence, divine connection, worthiness, money flow, abundance, happiness, fulfillment and romance. Embracing your sexuality can drastically improve your life in 2020 (yes, even in the midst of a pandemic). 

Now let’s explore what your sexual fire is and how you can light it.

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Listening To Your Body and CHOICE!

I wonder how you are doing with listening to your body while in quarantine and moving through this experience?

Our body is such a miraculous container. It can create miracles in so many profound ways.

And I know that the physical body is getting a lot of attention right now and not all of it is positive.

How are you feeling in your body? How well are you listening to your body? How is your body working for you and how are you working with your body?

Those are some of the questions I would like you to sit with.

It is so important right now to be listening to the messages and the signs and the symptoms that your body is showing you. Your body gives you messages to let you know whether you are in alignment with your thoughts or emotions … or if you’re disconnected and not present.

YOUR body gives YOU insight into everything: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

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Coronavirus – The Heart of the Matter

All my life I have gone to the heart of the matter. When I graduated from college, I volunteered to fly fighters because I felt that was the heart of the Air Force. My eye sight prevented me, so I joined the Infantry because I felt that was the heart of the Army. Then I became a Green Beret officer because I felt that was the heart of the heart of the Army. When I wrote about quantum physics, I reached for the heart of this new discipline so I could write a book about it without scientific jargon and give non-scientists like me a clear and understandable explanation of it. That book won The American Book Award for Science, I believe, because it did exactly that.

I have come to see the heart of everything that we do and experience, individually and as a species, as consciousness. Our consciousness. My consciousness. Changing anything in the world, including myself, requires changing consciousness. The only place I can change consciousness is in myself.

Now I come to the coronavirus. Like everything I see around me, I see the coronavirus as symbolic. It has a lesson to teach me, and in my opinion, it has a lesson to teach us. The coronavirus is real in that it kills, the world economy is crippled, hundreds of millions have no work or shelter or comforting hand to hold theirs when they are ill. The most difficult is yet to come in economically undeveloped countries and collectives.

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Are You Making Someone Your Higher Power?

Do you believe that in a good relationship, it is your partner’s job to make you feel loved and worthy?

Jerrod, in his late 30s, consulted with me because he was feeling frantic about his relationship. He and Leslie had fallen deeply in love just over a year ago, but now the relationship was falling apart.

Jerrod

“Leslie and I are very attracted to each other and really enjoy each other’s company. But something happens after we’ve been together over a weekend. We have a great time and then during the week I’m miserable for a few days. After a few days, I feel okay again, and then we get together and it starts all over. I don’t want our relationship to end, but I can’t stand what happens after we are together. Maybe we are not supposed to be together.”

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Love the World

Are we really so separate?

The Practice:
Love the world.

Why?

To simplify and summarize, our brain has three primary motivational systems – Avoiding harms, Approaching rewards, and Attaching to “us” – that draw on many neural networks to accomplish their goals. 

Lately, I’ve started to realize that a fourth fundamental human motivational system could be emerging as well.

Our hunter-gatherer ancestors depended upon their habitats for food and shelter. Today, over 7 billion of us are pressing hard up against the limits of Lifeboat Earth. To survive and to flourish, cultural and perhaps biological evolution are calling us to love the world.

The world is near to hand in the food you eat, the air you breathe, and the weather and climate in which you spend your days. And then in widening circles, the world extends out to include complex webs of life and the physical characteristics of the land, the sea, and the sky.

When you love the world, you both appreciate it and care for it. Each of these actions makes you feel good, plus they help you preserve and improve everything you depend on for your health, livelihood, security, pleasure, and community.

During most of the last several million years, our human and hominid ancestors did not have much capacity for harming the world. Nor did they have much understanding of their effects on the whole planet.

But now, humanity has great power for good and ill. And we have inescapable knowledge (no matter how much some try to deny it) of what we are doing to our own home. As the earth heats up, as many species go extinct, and as resources such as fresh water decline, it is critically important that a fourth major motivation guide our thoughts, words, and above all, deeds:

Love the world.

How to be kind to yourself during difficult times in life

How to be kind to yourself during difficult times in life. 

These are challenging times. 

We are all going through the same storm as humanity, but not all of us are on the same ship facing the same experiences. 

As we all go through these moments of uncertainty, some of you might be thinking how you are going to pay your bills this week or this month.

Some of may be wondering how to keep your health and  immune system high. 

Some of you are concerned about your loved ones, children or elderly parents. 

We are all in a different boat but in the same storm and regardless, the storm is the storm. 

And, these are difficult moments. 
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What's Really Essential?

"The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in a time of crisis." -Thurgood Marshall


I've Been Thinking...

The other day, I found myself thinking and reflecting on life as I took an evening walk through my neighborhood.

“When this is all over, what will I remember?” I pondered to myself. “What thoughts and images will be seared into my brain? Who will I be when I am no longer told to stay at home?”

Will I go back to the same schedule I had before? Will my work and voice in The Sunday Paper be needed now more than ever, or not at all? Will my work at NBC News be the same, or will it change now that every show has been cut back? Will I go back to being on a plane all the time, rushing from coast to coast?

 

Will my work at The Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement survive in a post-pandemic world? Will people still want to fund research into women’s brains when millions of Americans are struggling to eat and pay their rents or mortgages? Will people want to be educated about brain health and Alzheimer’s prevention when one of their most pressing concerns is protecting themselves from the coronavirus? I wonder. 

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Keys To Freedom In Your Relationships

“Each relationship serves a different function and purpose in your life. Ultimately, every single relationship you are in is for your growth, evolution and learning.”

When we spend our time trying to control the lives of those we love, we’re putting our power, our freedom, our joy, our happiness in the hands of someone else. Listen to this episode as I share the secret to real freedom when it comes to changing other people and how to shift your focus to a more empowering way of thinking. 

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What is the secret to getting other people to change?
  • How is trying to change other people taking your power away?
  • How can I stop controlling other people?
  • Am I ready to receive what others are ready to give me?
  • How can I accept another without judgment?
  • What does this person mirror to me about myself?

In This Episode You Will Learn:

  • 3 key questions to ask yourself when you are challenged by someone.
  • A key element to all relationships that will change everything.
  • How to honor and love yourself unconditionally.
  • How communication is a key element to honoring your relationship.
  • How acceptance of another is an important part of your own evolution.
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30 Simple Ways to Create Balance and Connection

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