It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us.
This week’s reading brought two goddesses together that inspired me to talk about how the stories of the past inform what we manifest in the future. I was going to wait a bit but when the Greek goddess of memory and the past and the Norse goddess of the future showed up in the reading side by side, they revealed to me that perhaps the time to share is now.
I took a DNA test that rocked my world. Forgive me in advance for not giving you the full details just yet as I have some more digging to do and intimate conversations to have with family first. Suffice to say that my results were not what I expected and has led me to question so much. I’m still digesting and integrating the information. But here is the gist of it.
The core elements of the story that defined my mother’s life, her deepest fears, traumas, guilt and identity and consequently what has defined my identity and the story I’ve come to believe, tell, and act from is something very different than what she believed and I was told. I know that sentence is a mouthful. But if what I have discovered is the real truth than much of the story that has defined me is not a true story.
Have you ever considered or even questioned your history? I am doing that right now and it’s astounding to consider that many of our choices may be based on false information.
My personal story and the one I inherited from my mom had so much power over me. I’m joining a multitude of others invited to reconsider what our old stories actually mean and what happens when that is shattered.
I took the test and did a lot more research to deny it but that fell flat. It is what it is. Now, I’m waiting to take another one from another company since this has fascinated me now and filled in a lot of holes in the stories I was told and also filled in a lot of blanks in the genealogy research I did 11 years ago, armed with only names, places and a birth certificate from 1927 before this technology was available to us.
I know the facts, but the story–not the facts–well, that is the thing that has held so much power and sway over me and my self-identity. And now, I’m considering the ramifications. It’s revelatory and liberating as well as releasing some profound grief. My mom died in 1993 so I can’t talk to her. (But wait you’re a medium you should be able to talk to her? Nope- mediumship doesn’t work that way – no hotline to heaven in my house)
They tell you that taking a DNA test may shock you as you may discover things about yourself you didn’t know, or things about yourself that you believed were true but aren’t. My friend Dani Shapiro recently wrote a book about it and there are countless articles and conversations being had by many of some of the shocking revelations that are possible. People may tell stories they believe are true but DNA gives evidence of what is really true or certainly points to what may not be. Or, is the story told more powerful than the data?
Many of my friends have discovered they were different ethnic identities than they’ve believed about themselves their entire lives. One of my friends from South America had no reason to expect anything other than her Spanish and Indian background but her test showed she was Italian and German with 0% of her expected ethnicity, and that her Grandfather had an entire other family he forgot to mention. Another friend found out her real grandfather was actually his best friend, and a few others discovered they were much more exotic than they knew before. One friend found out she was adopted. A lot to digest for anyone given that we rarely sit down and ask ourselves whether our identities are true or not.
But the power of the story – that’s what this is about. How we tell our stories, how we’re affected by the stories our parents tell us, how we define ourselves by those narratives – now that is more powerful than we can fathom. It’s why brainwashing and social conditioning is a real thing, and why we need to understand who wrote the histories we believe are factual and why, and recognize and claim the power to create new ones that can really serve the transformation we so desperately need as a society.
But it starts with each one of us. I’m going to continue writing about this in the next while since I’m still unpacking the details but I’d invite you to sit down with yourself and ask why you know certain things about your family, why you define yourself the way you do and ask yourself this timeless question. Who could you be if you were not who you thought you were? I know my mom spent her entire life believing something about her parents that was not true at all. Yet it defined her entire way of being in the world. And, it then came to define much of mine.
I never questioned this detail before, and now that I do, I see the power of storytelling with such clarity now. Our stories will limit or expand our potentials in the future. They are the seeds of what will continue to grow in our Field of Dreams, in our manifest world. We are the living products of our stories and those stories may be true, or they still may be true even if they are not.
Something to think about.
I’m sad for my mom who carried a burden her whole life that wasn’t hers to carry, but she did anyway and it was as real for her as if it were true, then passed to me. Yet, what I know and believe to be true, not because I’ve been told by someone, but because of personal experience is that a story can be rewritten. From something challenging and painful laden with the expectation of more of the same into something liberating and joyful, creating something new – this is my task now and frankly, I am excited and curious to see what happens.
Love to hear from you if you’ve ever learned about something that had influenced you that gave you a certain identity but later found out it wasn’t true? What is your truth, based on your past and is it really real?
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