It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us.
The reality is that each and all of our relationships stir in us a host of strong feelings that, prior to their being awakened in us, we had no idea lay sleeping in our consciousness. These emotions range from deep delight to darkly disturbing, but to strengthen the point: whatever someone awakens in us is... our feeling. Which brings us to the next three important points. The more you’re able to see how they are secretly connected, the stronger will become your connection to a new order of love that can’t be shattered by any storm.
When we look at someone, anyone, including those we love, through the eyes of some negative reaction, what is it that we’re really looking at in that moment...other than what we don’t want to see standing there before us? The following explanation will help shed much needed light on these last two all-important ideas:
So, when our mind is filled with reasons for not liking someone – and our heart feels the same aversion, wishing to have nothing to do with whomever is considered in this way – the results are almost unavoidable: what else can we expect to see in our partner’s eyes other than the same resentment or rejection they see flashing in our own? In other words, what they see in our eyes is our one-sided conclusion that they are to blame for our pain.
This insight should make it clear why, in the “heat” of a struggle with someone we care about, we see no love or understanding in their eyes. Because they can't see any love or kindness in our own.
We want, actually secretly demand, whether family, friend, or loved one that our partner not only understand what we’re feeing, but why...and all without our having to tell them! We expect them to walk by our side, to see life through our eyes, and to support our mood swings with no questions asked. While we, for the most part, almost never consider what it’s like to be on the other “side” of that relationship, looking at what our partner sees in our eyes that we can’t, as yet, even see ourselves.
Until we can understand what those we love see and feel when they’re with us, and vice-versa, we are in a one sided relationship headed for a rocky shore!
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