Authentic kindness must include the life within us. These two talks examine the movement from an armored to a free and loving heart. The first looks at how we can awaken from the trance of unworthiness and establish a genuinely caring relationship with our inner life. In the second we explore how self-kindness awakens us to the heartspace that naturally includes all of life.

When I told a good friend recently that I had lost my connection to God and could feel nothing during meditation, he responded, “That’s wonderful.” A month or so later, when I told him that the house where my partner and I rent our apartment was for sale and we would probably have to move, he again said, “That’s wonderful.” In both instances, he was expressing the wider perspective that something greater often arises out of a seeming loss. That turned out to be absolutely true. In the first case, the emptiness I felt opened me to an even deeper and more expansive divine connection; I had to be swept clean in order to receive it. In the second case, that For Sale sign was indeed a “sign” that it was time for Anne and me to move, which is now becoming an exciting exploration of possibilities.

Over the years I have been asked thousands of questions about the Afterlife: What happens when you die? How does it happen? What do our loved ones have to say? So, after awhile I started writing them down. Then, once I finished writing my book, The Love Never Ends, I put a little book together called Answers-About-the-Afterlife. These are some of the top questions and answers from that book. I hope they bring you some insight … and maybe even answer some of your own questions. ~ SDJ♥

We are in a time of collective consciousness trying to preserve separation and polarity as the truth. Simultaneously we are uncovering the structure and dynamics of union, of both/and, of the inner technologies of the 7 layer liquid crystal oscillator which is our heart and the match of outer ARK crystal and other technologies. This communion is ancient, ongoing and infinite.

At this time in our conscious evolution and spiritual/physical/Cosmic alchemy, we stand on the event horizon of Truth, mystery and deep fusion of great possibility that is embedded within our cellular and DNA already. There is no striving or manifesting of such for it is who we are and part of us inextricably. 

People ask me now, “Are you happy these days?” and I say, “Yes, I am. I’m very happy,” and they say, “Oh, that’s good.” Somebody else says, “Are you sad these days?” and I say, “Yeah, I’m sad.” That was a very big one to find out, cause I grew up in a world where in order to be happy, you had to make believe you weren’t sad.

It was a great relief to understand that all the emotions are present in every moment, and somehow they’re present in their unmanifest or imminent form; and then within a moment is something that awakens grief or pain or joy, or preciousness, or humor… you’re just dancing through all the forms of life, and what I saw was that as long as I had aversions, I couldn’t be free, and until I could be free, I couldn’t see anybody else.

When a desire with attachment is thwarted or denied, it turns to anger. Anger arises from dissatisfaction, from not getting what you want or getting what you don’t want, from the expectation unfulfilled. You become more and more attached to your expected outcome and when it doesn’t arrive you get angry. You seek wholeness, completion, and happiness in the fulfillment of desire with attachment and are constantly in dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction is the main form of suffering. Dissatisfaction and anger arise from feeling limited, betrayed, from not speaking up, from being pushed around, by not being seen or heard, by being passive and feeling futility. It starts as resentment. Resentment turns into frustration. Frustration turns into anger and becomes rage when not addressed. 

Anger can take on many faces. Some you see as anger and some are more subtle. You think; That person rubs me the wrong way, You roll your eyes, make a sharp remark, you think he’s a thorn in my side, you have a tantrum, feel bitterness, suspicion, hatred, envy, resentment, criticism, annoyance, animosity, sullenness, gruffness, rage, grudges, and you have arguments.

However much you think we are provoked, your anger is always your own creation.

When the Buddha was dying, he gave a final message to his beloved attendant Ananda, and to generations to come: “Be a lamp unto yourself, be a refuge to yourself. Take yourself to no external refuge.”

In his last words, the Buddha was urging us to see this truth: although you may search the world over trying to find it, your ultimate refuge is none other than your own being.

There’s a bright light of awareness that shines through each of us and guides us home, and we’re never separated from this luminous awareness, any more than waves are separated from ocean. Even when we feel most ashamed or lonely, reactive or confused, we’re never actually apart from the awakened state of our heart-mind.

This is a powerful and beautiful teaching. The Buddha was essentially saying: I’m not the only one with this light; all ordinary humans have this essential wakefulness, too. In fact, this open, loving awareness is our deepest nature. We don’t need to get somewhere or change ourselves: our true refuge is what we are. Trusting this opens us to the blessings of freedom.

Buddhist monk, Sayadaw U. Pandita describes these blessings in a wonderful way: A heart that is ready for anything. When we trust that we are the ocean, we are not afraid of the waves. We have confidence that whatever arises is workable. We don’t have to lose our life in preparation. We don’t have to defend against what’s next. We are free to live fully with what is here, and to respond wisely.

In autumn here in Massachusetts, I often preempt the landscapers hired by our landlord and rake the leaves in our yard myself. In doing so, I not only avoid the gas fumes and deafening noise of their leaf-blowers, I also step into a kind of spiritual practice. Raking leaves, in the quiet of a crisp fall day, is sweetness for the soul. The slow movements back and forth are deeply meditative. My body moves gently and unhurriedly with the natural rhythm of the seasons. I listen to the sounds of blue jays and chickadees calling and pause silently to watch when a butterfly or bumblebee alights on the periwinkle ageratum flowers. Gratitude fills my heart. I feel intensely the beauty of nature all around me. The sun on my face and hands, the slightly cool breeze, the smell of fallen leaves and the earth itself. At times like these, I am fully present, fully connected to the spirit within me and everywhere around me.

Worry is born from a lack of trust. You have tried to control life, especially when you feel insecure and vulnerable. When you feel your life is unstable you begin to project into the future and worry. You lose trust when you lose stability, when you lose connection to a strong foundation inside. You imagine all the negative possibilities; poverty, homelessness, being alone. You stoke fear-based energies. These arise when you feel disconnected internally and fear arises.

 

You have such a strong attachment to certain outcomes. When these outcomes appear to be crumbling in front of you, fear strengthens, unworthiness increases and you worry as you see control slipping away, as you see possibilities narrow.

 

You also identify as your accomplishments, your possessions, your thoughts and your fears. Your self-worth is attached to outcomes and circumstances. So when your attachments and identifications come under assault, when they crumble, you move into worry. You are not your mind, your body, your possessions or your stories. You are limitless love, peace and abundance. When you can move into this authentic identification, you open up to the possibility of peace.

Every November, I look forward to speaking at one of my favorite events, Celebrate Your Life. Year after year I have been so very blessed to be a speaker at this amazing conference and connect with people in such deep and humbling ways. It is always amazing and fulfilling. Always. This year, it was a little different. It was retreat style. Instead of being held in Phoenix, Arizona, where it usually is, it was held in Sedona, Arizona … which is one of my favorite places to visit. If you haven’t been there, it is a MUST… for sure!

So, a few of weeks ago, we were blessed again to be in Sedona, Arizona … the vortex capital of the US … amazing red rock as far as the eye can see. So many canyons and cliffs and valleys to explore on foot and mountain biking … although I prefer on foot. The contrast of the rich green trees among the red rock is breathtaking.

So, Kris (my amazing SOUL musician) and I, along with John Holland and Michael Beckwith had the honor of smudging the participants as they entered for the opening event that the AMAZING Denise Linn and Uqualla are hosting. We were so blessed to offer this clearing under the moonlight on the eve of the full moon. So many people with sadness in their heart but light in their eyes … coming to this event to be filled up, connected, and reminded of their value; others coming to receive support and guidance and community. Events like these are always so valuable to me, in so many ways. They fill ME UP just as much as they do the participants.

At any time you can look at a thought form and get involved in the content of the thought. In therapy you start to get psycho-dynamic. You can say, “Ok, now I’m gonna look at the mechanics of my mind,” in which case every thought is just another thought. It’s not some special thought or the deepest thought. So I would take the kind of internalized feeling and thought, and I would bring my awareness back to my breath, and then the thought would come again, and I would go back to my breath, and then the thought would come again, and again I would come back to my breath, until eventually I started to appreciate it as just another thought, because at this point I am treating it like that, rather than like it is ‘real’ or ‘solid.’

Many people have power points in their homes. These are usually places where they place their most important pictures, objects or memories. When you wish to formalize that power and create a space of expanded energy within your home, then it may be time to create an altar.

Those of us who have been on a spiritual path for twenty or thirty years know firsthand that there is no fast track to enlightenment. No door that can be forced open by sheer will power, on the other side of which God sits waiting. No treasure chest that a special secret code can spring open. Detective work and safe-cracking tools will get you nowhere, except back to where you started from, learning again and again to sit quietly and open your heart to the God within. Our lifetime search brings us home to ourselves, realizing at last that God is everywhere and everything, including us.

The ego is the aspect of the mind that feels personal. It emanates the boundary of "me" and "I." We can observe in a newborn child that the personal sense of "me" has not yet crystallized. A newborn may be crying loudly one moment and perfectly content the next. States of mind seem to come and go without a central identity holding on to experiences.

By the age of two, toddlers start to use words like "me." "Mine" can become a favorite word in this stage. This is a sign of the ego crystallizing. The greater mind is creating a demarcation within itself, a sub-identity, which we have given a first and last name.