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Most of us in today's hectic paced world are overscheduled, and frankly, most of us can't say "No". The simple act of not taking on more responsibility than you can handle, should not be a stressor, but it seems to be a major factor we add on to our bandwagon of stressors. we already seem to carry.
WHY CAN'T WE SAY NO
This is a difficult task for some of us. we think perhaps people concerned may get upset by our refusal, or maybe you are guilty when you are not helping others or maybe you actually accumulate so much stress, that eventually it makes you less healthy and less helpful.
This gets created because you don't know in which direction to swing. Sometimes we carry a misguided notion of " I can do it all" My suggestion to you would be '' Please get rid of this notion"
take on only as much as you can handle and feel comfortable with.
DO A FAVOR TO YOURSELF
Do it for yourself and for the people who love you. It is only when you learn to scan and perform at leisure that you are relaxed. Over-stretching your performance limits only lands you in trouble with yourself.
PRIORITIZE SELF CARE
If a certain commitment affects your life negatively or doesn't fit into your schedule, refuse it. Do not come under pressure from others. Weigh the pros and cons. If it works comfortably for you, its fine, otherwise a polite refusal is what you owe yourself.
You don't need to be defensive or apologetic I don't mean that you get rude or obsessive about your own self. But if a certain activity is eating unnecessarily into your time or it jeopardizes your personal schedules unnecessarily, please be firm in refusing.
CREATING A BALANCE
This is the key to self-wisdom. It is just as people create a balanced body weight or mindset, learn to balance your life. It is all about organizing your time and if you spend a large chunk of it pleasing others, not much is left for us to complete our own inner resonance.
This is imperative to our owns inner health. Clarity of mind is what leads us to amicable and correct decisions. This further enhances the quality of our lives. Stay with it.
We needn't be apologetic about not making time for others. Remember there is only so much time in the day. We need to use it wisely instead of frittering it away on unnecessary schedules for others and then stressing over it later on as we feel frustrated with our own wrong decision making.
When people are making inroads into your time, the process itself of setting boundaries is extremely essential. moving helter-skelter in life and aimlessly playing the '' Good Samaritan'' can take a toll on you. Stress keeps building stealthily. On the one hand, you are feeling good about helping others, on the other hand, you are spending time ignoring your other priorities.
Give yourself essential and adequate time in knowing what you want and how to get there. Do help others but not at your own expense.
These only arise when you are doing things that do not agree with your temperament. The main reasons are
1. People are asking too much of you.
2. You feel people are taking undue advantage of your goodness
3. You are feeling disappointed because you are not appreciated
4. People are draining your energy unnecessarily.
5. People many times get close and overwhelm you.
DE-CLUTTER YOUR SCHEDULES
Mostly we talk about de-cluttering our home or our room in order to have a makeover of our lives. I would suggest a complete re-hauling of your whole life's structural plan. In order to clear the clutter from your schedule, just imagine it empty.
Be careful of the following things:
1. Don't spend time with people who drain you.
2. Don't watch mediocre TV programs
3. Eat well and correctly, just don't add empty calories
4. Set up an exercise routine
Keep only those things in your mind that are necessary for your survival and important to your self-growth.
Keep doing things in order of importance:
1. Job or work hours
2. Sleeping and adequate rest.
3. Adequate rejuvenators
4. Exercise and food
5. Delegate responsibility
6. Do things with precision
This sounds typical yet it is the only way to do effective time management and organize one's life.
Finding time to relax is only possible when you are living your own life with responsibility towards yourself. Being a people pleaser is really of no consequence. You need to learn where to draw the line.
Balance your life, create a proper plan. Be healthy and joyous.