I hope you are feeling energized by the possibilities of 2019! As you may or may not know, I am getting married in 2019! It seems hard to wrap my head around, but after 15 years of being single, I will be “walking down the aisle.” Planning a wedding as a 58-year-old bride has been interesting, especially when I compare it to the experience I had as a 28-year-old one:
Salespeople and vendors tend to do a double-take when they realize that it is me and not one of my 20-something year old daughters who is the bride.
Instead of feeling compelled to follow protocol or formalities, you quickly realize that you are in a situation where “no rules apply.”
And the biggest and most profound difference is that this time the most important aspect of the whole event is the walk down the aisle and the person and life I am walking toward. And here’s what I truly find so fascinating. Even though I thought I was I pretty aware person, this imagery of walking down the aisle has provided a huge breakthrough in terms of all aspects of my life and being truly cognizant and conscious about what and whom I am walking toward.
Yes, I, like you, have had lots of various types of relationships in my life. We all have not only love relationships but also friendships, co-workers, and family members in our lives. Yet, when you think about it:
How many of these relationships have you consciously chosen and how many were formed as a result of some situation, mutual acquaintance, by circumstance, or you just kind of inherited them?
How many of these relationships flourished because they were healthy and fueled your flame as opposed to being kept alive out of habit because it was expected, to honor the past, or just because?
Just like many of us tend to live our life on automatic pilot, following our routines and remaining in our comfort zones, we tend to do the same in relationships. We are born into families, assigned a co-worker, placed into committees and play groups with parents of our children’s friends, or consistently attend brunches and birthday parties seated next to the friends of our friends who are then expected to become our friends. Wanting to be included, to belong, and be “a part of,” we go along for the ride and become creatures of habit instead of the conscious co-creators of our relationships.
Creatures of habit stay in a job, situation, or relationship because it is familiar. They continue to push the boulder up the hill because they are the strong ones. They accept unacceptable behavior because they are the patient or nice ones. They put others in front of themselves because they do not want to be the selfish ones. Although being a creature of habit is not bad or good, and often creatures of habit are quite high-functioning, it does come with a cost. Creatures of habit are so busy doing what they have always done that they become oblivious to what they are doing, their motivation, whether their actions serve their highest purpose, and, when it comes to relationships, whether they fuel their flame and are truly healthy.
When it comes to relationships, many people write and talk about the ones you need to let go of. Although I agree that in order to make space for the new, you must let go of that which no longer works or serves your highest and that letting go of someone is often the most loving thing you can do for yourself, letting go is only half of the equation. If you want to truly want to make 2019 memorable, then I encourage you to commit to being the conscious co-creator of your life – to actively look not only at who and what you need to let go of but also who and what you want to consciously want to walk toward. Then fill your life with that!
It is when we shift the level of consciousness that
we bring to each moment of our lives that our lives will shift.
Without question, my intended walk down the aisle has become the metaphor for how I want to live my life. If you too want to move from being the proverbial “Runaway Bride” – avoiding, denying, or moving through life on automatic pilot - to making each step of your life “A Walk To Remember,” then I invite you to join me in truly stepping into being the conscious co- creator of your life and taking these Transformational Actions Steps.
Transformational Action Steps
(1) Picture yourself walking down the aisle of life.
(2) Ask yourself, “What or whom do I want to walk toward?”
(3) When you picture yourself walking toward a person or situation, become mindful. If you feel bumps in the road or trepidation of any sort, look inside to see if that is just your fearful or insecure self needing reassurance or if it is your gut and intuition trying to get your attention.
(4) Become present to how you feel when you are around certain people or engaged in certain activities. If they or it do not feed your soul, they may not be for you and it may be time to shift directions.
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