It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us.
Little experiences are often overlooked. It surprises me how tiny observations can have profound meaning.
It was Wednesday morning, I pulled into a preschool parking lot to perform a children’s concert.
While unloading my car, a mom arrived with a young boy probably three years old. He had a super ball that bounced out of his hand and into the road. The mom grabbed his arm to keep him from running into the busy street.
I did not expect to hear him make the same exact sound my sisters made when they learned my dad died. It was an unmistakable death wail, spontaneous and deep from one’s soul.
What I call “Super ball moments” are brief experiences of trauma. What we associate about the trauma is more dangerous than the pain itself. There can be lifelong consequences when we decide to connect beliefs of what the situation means to our identity.
There are countless reactions that could come from this super ball experience.
It’s possible he could have internalized a variety of messages, you can lose things you love, I’m not responsible enough to take care of valuable things, It’s all my fault, my mom is mad at me or just as easily, I feel safe and protected, my mom loves me. The interpretations are only known by the child. I can assume there are endless ways to perceive the incident.
This mom managed the situation gracefully. I would not want to guess how she felt
The message this super ball story leaves me is to never underestimate the depth of emotion kids or anyone feels.
It’s not necessary to protect kids from strong emotions. Kids have strong emotions and express them naturally, with no guilt or judgement. We need to allow all emotions to be acceptable.
I cringe when I hear comments like, it’s just a super ball, you’re fine, stop crying. It’s tragic, how common it is to hear emotions invalidated.
Kids are also resilient. They are often quick to let trauma go. I remember my nephew screaming while getting his diaper changed and five minutes later, happy and playing like nothing had happened.
Big traumas, like my dad dying are obvious. As an adult it’s easy to forget the little “super ball” experiences and any beliefs we may have anchored at a young age.
I encourage you to reserve time today to review several small “super ball” traumas from your childhood. Observe what beliefs you attached to the situation. How did this experience define how you see yourself? Do the beliefs empower you or do you prefer to choose again and start fresh?
I have to say, I did get his super ball from across the road. Mom was appreciative.
As a full-time kid’s musician since 1990, I perform for 1000’s of kids every year. I am grateful to do what I love. My kid tested, parent approved concerts create a fun atmosphere filled with plenty of audience participation, excitement and energy.
You can listen to all twenty songs on my All The Best Greatest Hits album for free by clicking here.
Join Panache Desai every morning and for support in reconnecting to the wellspring of calm and peace that lives within you and that has the power to counterbalance all of the fear, panic, and uncertainty that currently engulfs the world.
Designed To Move You From Survival and Fear to Safety and Peace
...on all things life, wellness, love, transformation and spirituality...
PLUS! Get your FREE Guide: 12 Mindfulness Practices to a Peaceful Mind