It's easy to forget that we are all perfect in our own design. Sometimes we muck it up with habits and choices that do not serve us.
When you first fell in love with your partner, the future was bright. You dreamt of doing everything together and creating memories for decades. In the months or years since, life threw challenges at you that made you reassess your future.
If your relationship doesn’t seem to have a path forward or you don’t feel fulfilled, the next step will be difficult, but not impossible. Read about when to say enough is enough so you can face potential heartbreak and exchange it for more happiness.
Everything’s easier when relationships begin, so it’s normal for that bliss to fade when your new love becomes your new normal. Even when you’ve been with your partner for years, your relationship should still bring you joy. When things aren’t going right, frustration could become a daily occurence.
Frustration often comes from a communication breakdown. Think about how you connect with your partner and look for healthy communication characteristics, like curiosity about each other and strong teamwork skills. What you find could point out why you feel frustrated with your relationship and current place in life.
Your partner should make you happy. Couples who stick together for decades still share moments where those romantic butterflies reappear. Maybe you go on a special date together or create a new inside joke.
If you can’t remember the last time you felt your heart swell for your partner, that’s a clear indicator that something’s gone wrong. Learning when to say enough is enough starts with reflecting and accepting. Acknowledge this potential lack of butterflies so you can trace back to when they disappeared.
Relationships are never perfect. Sometimes your partner will annoy you, or you’ll fight. Facing conflict together and learning from it is part of what makes your love stronger. At the same time, fighting doesn’t always lead to positive change.
Constant arguments could make you wonder if a different partner would be better for you. You could daydream about celebrity crushes or feel new emotions blossoming when someone flirts with you. Wondering if another partner would meet your emotional and romantic needs is a sure sign that your love life isn’t as healthy as you might think.
Being with someone means having their back. It doesn’t mean they can take advantage of you. Your partner should never expect you to take care of tasks without asking because it leads to the fear of saying no.
When you can’t form and maintain boundaries, it leads to worrying about others over your own needs. No one can keep up with that kind of lifestyle for long. Make sure your partner contributes equally to responsibilities like emotional care, household chores and taking care of your relationship.
Devoting all your time and energy to taking care of your partner makes rest seem like a bad thing. Saving time for self-care could leave you with guilt that you’d rather not face. Self-care is essential to maintaining your mental health, which directly contributes to the success of your relationship.
However you engage in self-care, it differs from selfishness in crucial ways that you can look for. It should never numb your feelings or result in a worse situation, like spending money you don’t have. If your mental health makes you hold back on self-care or your partner discourages it, that’s when you should say enough is enough.
Bad relationships can result in intense depressive symptoms. You could hold yourself back from socializing because of your worry or fear for your partner. Before your relationship began, were you a social butterfly? Did you look forward to seeing family or engaging in your favorite activities?
Isolating yourself in your free time is a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship. No one should ever feel so exhausted after interacting with their partner that they slip into dissociative episodes or curl up alone every night to recharge.
Your partner should never take the place of a licensed therapist, but they also shouldn’t be the source of your anxiety. Working overtime to avoid making them unhappy or inconvenienced results in relationship burnout that hurts you more than it hurts them.
Long-term burnout could lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms or addiction as well. Check in with yourself to see how intense your anxiety is and how you deal with it. Working on or stepping away from your relationship could be the best thing for your mental health.
When you think about your love life, does it hurt your heart? The past you share with your partner should leave you feeling loved and appreciative. Reflection that makes you wonder what happened is a big sign that things aren’t in a good place.
Take a deep breath and focus on healthy reflection when your heart is ready. The past few months or years could have been a draining or painful experience that you unknowingly got used to. Thinking about the past and comparing it to what you want will reframe your life goals and assess if your relationship is helping or hindering them.
You’ll know when to say enough is enough if one or more of these factors are present in your relationship. If that’s the case, it’s time for the necessary conversation that will lead you both to work on what’s broken or go separate ways.
When this conversation begins, avoid placing blame or reacting out of anger. You’ll both figure out the best next steps when you speak from a place of honesty with an open heart.
Join Panache Desai every morning and for support in reconnecting to the wellspring of calm and peace that lives within you and that has the power to counterbalance all of the fear, panic, and uncertainty that currently engulfs the world.
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